Life is tricky. The path from getting here to there is not how we imagine it the majority of the time. Our journey leads us through a joy beyond what we know but also drags us through valleys of grief.
Over the last month, life has hung in a place between heart wrenching grief and amazing joy. Last week I shared the place I find myself in between the shadows and the light. But this beautiful place that requires a balancing act is nothing without the joy that evens out the diversity of emotions. Amazing joy entered on the heels of grief when my son got married a week after my dad passed away. God took a celebration of life and added the union of two people as one in marriage into the mix. Only God takes our broken hearts and mends them almost as soon as they are broken. Only God takes our grief and tenderly holds it while we share in the joy of a wedding.
Never doubt that God knows what we need! He teaches us in the shadows and uses the time to bring us to the light.
Amazing joy fills us to capacity and leaves an overflow in its wake. Belly laughs that start from our toes and reach to the tips of our fingers shower memories of joy we can recall over and over. They say laughter is the best medicine and when you experience it for yourself, you learn why.
[Tweet “The beauty of tending a hurting heart is as important as snippets of laughter that fill us with joy.”]
God teaches us the beauty of tending to a hurting heart is just as important as the snippets of laughter that fill us with joy. I find a beautiful illustration of the place between the shadows and the light in Matthew 28. Three days after Jesus died on the cross, He rose from the dead. The moment when the two women found Jesus by the tomb displays amazing joy.
The women, deep in wonder and full of joy, lost no time in leaving the tomb. They ran to tell the disciples. Then Jesus met them, stopping them in their tracks. “Good morning!” he said. They fell to their knees, embraced his feet, and worshiped him. Matthew 28:8-19 MSG
In the moment when the worst thing possible happens, Jesus dying on the cross, God makes sure the story doesn’t end there. Jesus rose from the dead and this ending instead became the beginning of the Good News.
I am learning…
There is joy in the midst of grief. When the shadows blanket the heart, God sees and knows what I am feeling.
Even through the pain, there is a point where light sneaks in and in the connection between the two, joy explodes.
God takes time to nurture us through the pain and provides space to not be okay.
Healing takes place when we allow pain and joy to work side by side.
Today I am praying for all who find their joy competing with grief. May you feel God’s comfort as He opens your heart to the light of His joy.
Blessings of grace and peace along the way!
Here are a few wedding photos for you to enjoy!
Linking today with:
and Dawn for Grace Moments
The older we get, the more we understand that life is rarely pure joy or straight sadness, but a mix. I’m sorry that your mix was of such extremes though. 🙁 My daughter gets married in 6 days (aaack!) and thankfully we aren’t experiencing any extreme losses (currently anyway), but I still miss that neither of my parents are alive anymore to experience the marriage of their grandchild. Praying for you are you grieve and rejoicing with you as you rejoice in the new addition to your family.
Thank you for understanding that life brings us grief and joy. We live in the middle of the contrast most of the time, but other times we experience sheer joy or devastating sadness.
I am excited for you and the upcoming wedding. What a joyous beginning for your daughter. I am praying for you and the union of the two families. Thank you for your prayers. Blessings!
What a joyous celebration. Congrats to the couple!
Thank for stopping by Lux!
Beautiful, inspiring, hopeful words! I love the joyful photos, too, Mary. In a week where the enemy has sought to discourage me on every side, I am slowly learning how to fight back with joy. Your words here are especially poignant for me: “Even through the pain, there is a point where light sneaks in” – Amen! They remind me of Leonard Cohen’s famous lines about there being a crack in everything where the light gets in. I will be taking these words to heart as I seek to move beyond challenges I cannot fix by myself. And I’ll continue to lift you and yours before the Lord so that joy continues to sit bright in the midst of grief. Blessings of rest, hope and peace to you. xo
I am praying for joy in your journey. As we all are faced with challenges, we can rest assured that calling upon God to be with us provides the strength we need. I always enjoy how you share the perfect quote to go along with my words. Thank you for Leonard Cohen’s words today. You add just a touch to make my thoughts better.
I am in prayer for you as you face your own challenges and I am asking God to surround you with His joy and hope. Love and hugs!
What a cute couple, Mary! Congratulations to all of you. As you may remember, my dad passed away in February of 2015. On Saturday, he will finally be laid to rest next to his mother and grandmother in a quiet little cemetery in Vermont. I can relate to the shadows and the light. How wonderful is God’s timing ? The JOY of the wedding overshadowed, for a time, the grief of your loss. If your experience is anything like mine, you’ll see that the moments of JOY change the grief. As does time. I don’t think we ever stop grieving for those we hold so dear. But the grief does change. It’s something that becomes part of us. I’ve been absent here lately since we’ve been traveling. But you’ve been in my prayers, dear one, and continue to be in the weeks ahead. Blessings.
I pray that your time today in Vermont was comforting and healing. I have been praying for you.
Thank you for walking this journey with me. Knowing you have been through similar grief helps me in this journey. I pray your travels have been restful and joyful. Your pictures have been fun to see on Instagram. Sending you hugs today and everyday!
This has been my experience as well, Mary. Joy in the midst of pain. I wish sometimes that there could only be joy, but perhaps I wouldn’t appreciate the joy as much if there were not times of pain to punctuate it. After all, it’s in the pain that I am drawn most closely to the Lord. Praying for you, my friend. I do hope these blessed moments after your father’s death would comfort and heal your broken heart. Hugs to you!
I am glad to know that I am not the only one who has experienced this. I believe you are right in saying that we would lose a sense of appreciation for joy if that is all we experienced. Pain grows us and give us a perspective of empathy that we need in our interactions with others. I love that you are praying for me and I treasure all of the moments I have had with family since my dad’s passing. Thank you for being such a beautiful friend.
Love! THIS: “God teaches us the beauty of tending to a hurting heart is just as important as the snippets of laughter that fill us with joy”
Thank you Tara! Good to see you! I pray that we are all able to look for joy in the middle of our grief. Blessings!
The wedding photos are great- I’m glad you had such a joyful celebration even in the midst of your grief. So true that joy and pain often go hand in hand. I love your reflections that with God there is “space to not be okay” but also that there are moments of joy and light, and that the sadness is not the end of the story.
Thank you Lesley! The wedding was perfect and gathering family together was even better. I am blessed we have a God who allows us to grieve and is willing to love us tenderly throughout the process. Knowing it is okay to not be okay helps me get through. As always thank you for being here and for encouraging me with your sweet words.
Mary, your post speaks to my heart. Our school community is reeling with the news that a student committed suicide over the weekend. This news has weighted my heart as I think about and pray for his family, his parents, our school community. Though I’m not directly impacted by this tragedy, the shadows fall over me. I loved your words today, they hold such hope.
I loved what you said here: “There is joy in the midst of grief. When the shadows blanket the heart, God sees and knows what I am feeling.” I grieve for the family, but I’m also going to pray that they will know God’s joy in the days to come.
I’m glad God made it so that we can know joy, even when grieving. He is pretty amazing that way.
God is amazing. I wouldn’t want anyone to go through the grief that the family at your school is going through right now. The loss of anyone we love is devastating and a piece of us is always missing. But as you said, God is amazing because He provides a space for us to grieve while at the same time we can embrace joy.
I pray these words that are working in you will touch others in the same way. There is joy in the middle of grief and it helps my tender heart to heal. You are a treasured friend. Thank you.
Mary, I’m so sorry about your father. My own passed away 1 year ago next month. I was preparing a guest blog about it just before I ventured over here, as a matter of fact. The road with grief is certainly a bumpy one, but praise God for a wedding and the “new” that comes aboard with its inception. I’m praying right alongside you, that those grieving will be comforted by the one, true Comforter. May the Lord continue to comfort you as well, Mary.
Thank you for your sweet words. I imagine that even a year later pieces of your grief journey are still so vivid. I know they say it fades over time but honestly I don’t want the piece of my loved one who is gone to ever fade.
Praying you have the words to share about your own dad as you relive memories and feel the grief once again. Blessings!
I’m so glad God is giving you joy in the midst of grief, Mary. It’s amazing how much grace God gives us to keep moving forward. I am especially drawn to these two things you learned:
“God takes time to nurture us through the pain and provides space to not be okay.
Healing takes place when we allow pain and joy to work side by side.”
Beautiful insight! God provides space to not be okay, but we also need to allow the joy to work alongside our pain. Thank you for this encouragement. Blessings and hugs to you!
Your words of encouragement mean so much to me. I know you speak from a very authentic place in your heart when you stop by here. I pray you are doing well and that your week is blessed.
Hi Mary! You know, much the same thing happened to me. My dad died in June, and my niece got married in August. It really was a great way to come together as family and celebrate the future. I know my dad was there.
You reassure me that there is joy buried in the sorrow, if I’ll just take the time to look. God doesn’t want us to stay down does he…He wants us to see his face and place in our worlds.
May He continue to bless you with healing and joy,
Ceil
Our stories parallel each other right now. I must say that I am blessed we are on this journey together. I have been blessed by the gathering of family two weeks in a row and mostly by knowing that in those times I need to feel my grief, it is okay. God is with us in all the moments and that is what keeps me going. I pray you feel God’s presence and healing as you walk forward embracing both joy and grief.
“Healing takes place when we allow pain and joy to work side by side.” This is so true. God made us as emotional beings, and when I flow with Him during the times the emotions seem to want to sink me, He holds me in the waves. I loved the movie, Inside Out as it really showed how important joy and sadness need to work together–one is not to over power the other or control like Joy tried to do in the story! Fun pictures of the wedding. I love the dress up idea!
I have never seen the movie Inside Out but more than one person has referenced it recently. I might need to put it on my to watch list. I like how you described how God holds us in the waves. It is the feeling that even when we are being tossed about, God is securely holding on and keeping us safe.
The wedding was complete joy. I loved having my brothers all act goofy in a picture with me! It doesn’t happen very often. Blessings on your week!
I was struck by the idea of “tending” a hurting heart. So often my response is just the opposite: ignore it, distract myself, move on. But I think you’re so right in your assessment, because letting ourselves grieve gets us beyond the pain and allows us to open our hearts to joy. Thanks, Mary for sharing your beautiful journey.
I think our world promotes having a stiff upper lip through all challenges and messiness we face. It is easier at times to act like everything is fine rather than give ourselves permission to not be okay. It has taken me many years to allow this vulnerability to surface and admit I am not okay. It is still a learning process, but that is why I am blessed to have God meet me in this place of imbalance. Thank you for walking with me as I process through my writing. God continues to bless me when I turn it over to Him. Hope your week is blessed.
I love that you shared a few pics from the wedding, Mary! Yes, joy comes in the morning … and somehow mingles with the pain and gives us an eternal perspective that all will be well.
Someday … no more weeping, no more sadness, no more tears.
Come quickly, Lord Jesus!
I only have a few photos from the wedding. Can’t wait until I see them all.
Any worship song with the words “It is well” seem to be my favorites right now. Hearing those words and then claiming them as my own makes a difference. The journey is a process but God is in every step I take. May we embrace our grief as a gift while knowing that joy can coexist with it.
Oh may the Lord touch your heart with more of His JOY! I understand that battle between joy and grief, believe me! Love what you say here about God teaching us in the shadows… He is so good to see us through every trial and grief.
Thank you Betsy! I am receiving and believing God has so much more joy for me and all of us. The beauty in life is the lessons that God never fails to share with us. May we all have peace in our everyday and hope for the future.
This is beautiful, Mary. Thank you.
Too ill to say more, but am appreciative of your words.
http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2016/09/your-dying-spouse-208-drinking-from.html
I smiled real big this morning when I saw you had left me a comment. Praying for you as you fight the good fight. May God continually surround you with all you need!